Automobile Blog

Car joke - What not to say a cop…

Now, let’s go with some car jokes…

What not to say a cop

Aren’t you the guy from the Village People?
I can’t reach my license unless you hold my beer.
Sorry, Officer, I didn’t realize my radar detector wasn’t plugged in.
Hey, you must’ve been doin’ about 125 mph to keep up with me! Good job!
I thought you had to be in relatively good physical condition to be a police officer.
You’re not gonna check the trunk, are you?
I pay your salary!
Gee, Officer! That’s terrific. The last officer only gave me a warning, too!
Do you know why you pulled me over? Okay, just so one of us does.
I was trying to keep up with traffic. Yes, I know there is no other car around–that’s how far ahead of me they are.
Well, when I reached down to pick up my bag of crack, my gun fell off my lap and got lodged between the brake pedal and the gas pedal, forcing me to speed out of control.
Say Hi to your wife and my kids!

How to find the right car insurance

Anywhere in the world and especially in the United States, to drive your own vehicle, you need to take your own car insurance. Auto Insurance pricing may vary according to the state, age, if you had car accident or not, type of car (small, SUV, truck), how much you use it (short or long trips), for professional or personnal purposes,…

For that matter, it is important to find the right insurer for you: the right price for the right protection. But it may be not that easy to find the right pricing. If you want to get a good car insurance, you need to browse the internet (it may be a long process though…) to find the right car insurer for you. You would be pissed if you realized that you paid $200 more for the same auto insurance, right ?

Never forget that car insurance is key: it helps you financially cover potential auto damages, loss or injuries. They usually offer good protection if you injured someone in a car accident. This could potentially costs you thousands of dollars. It could be the same if you get injured.

Auto Loan

When you consider to buy a car, it may be more interesting for you to finance it through auto loan. You can also lease it if you want. Doing so, you don’t need to take car of the car and insurance. On top of that, you have strong visibility on what you gonna pay for your car.

Think about these two possibilities!

We will discuss about them later on…

Bad Auto Credit Loans

With the subprime crisis going on, you have to take care about all your credit loans. It takes time but it is better to find solution before problems occur. You should even take care of what is going on with your auto  loan. If you consider all the money (house loan, auto loans, college for kids,…) you have to give back to your lenders, you may realize that you do not have enough money to pay them. Usually, all these lenders are different so they may not have the same credit policy regarding credit problems with house loan or loans auto. Consequently, you may also have bad credit.

On top of that, you better find a solution quickly. Lenders do not like customers with problem: credit problems, slow pays, bankruptcy…

To solve this, you can consider lenders offering financing solutions for bad credit. Indeed, auto loan can be a problem, so you have to find a financing solution as soon as possible. It would be a shame if you lose your car… and then your house…

Be careful with all that!

Automotive SEO

The automotive industry is about to change their strategy to differetiate from their competitors… Many different car makers and dealers consider to expand their business with Internet (Chrysler, Toyota, Ford,…). They develop websites, they try to sell and promote some of their cars through the internet. Is the internet becoming a new distribution channel?

To succeed and make a difference in this business, automotive car makers need to learn how to use automotive SEO or automotive Search Engine Optimization. What is this?

According to Wikipedia : “it is the process of improving the volume and quality of traffic to a web site from search engines via “natural” (”organic” or “algorithmic”) search results for targeted keywords. Usually, the earlier a site is presented in the search results or the higher it “ranks”, the more searchers will visit that site. SEO can also target different kinds of search, including image search, local search, and industry-specific vertical search engines.”

Car makers and dealers have various techniques to improve their SEO or their page rank on the net: promote site to others in this business, provide unique content that could attract visitors (for example, for visitors interested by the car business, news about new cars, car design, …). It seems quite simple but it is a long process to make a site #1 on SEO and make a difference in this business. That is why car makers and dealers need to invest time and money to improve automotive SEO. Good luck to them!

Auto Insurance

When you consider insurance (personal, professional, auto,…), it is important to realize how much coverage do you need. It is unnecessary to get a $1mm coverage if you do not need it…

For personal insurance, it depends on the size of your assets. In general, you need to get a coverage which represents 2 or 3 times your salary each year. For example, if you make $100k a year, you need $300k coverage maximum. You do not need more.

For Auto Insurance, you need to find the right coverage. First, do not spend money on something you do not need: if you have car alarm, you save money for your auto insurance. And you protect your car from theft! That is why it may be interesting to add car alarm if you do not have it…

Last but not least, do not forget to compare auto insurances… Every 6/12 months, check the web to see if there is a better deal for you and find auto insurance quote. You just need to consider a few constraints and you may realize that you can get a better deal. If you can save money by finding great auto insurance quotes, that is good for you!

Good luck in your search…

Winter Driving Tips

Driving through winter poses risks that can be overcome with a few simple tips:

• Carry emergency kit, heavy bag of sand in trunk; weight will lend traction on icy roads
• Check antifreeze level to protect engine
• Check battery; winter weather can cut battery life
• Replace windshield wipers
• Keep tires properly pressurized
• Maintain gas tank at least half full

What do these automobile acronyms actually mean?

Here goes….

AUDI: A Used Dodge Incognito
BMW: Bavarian Money Waster
BUICK: Big Ugly Idiot’s Cat Killer
CHEVROLET: Can Hear Every Valve Rattle, Oil Leaks Every Time
CHEVY: Cheapest Heap Ever Visualized Yet
CHRYSLER: Chrysler Has Raped Your Sanity Loser - Expect Repercussions
DAEWOO: Damn Asian Engineering Works Only Occasionally
DODGE: Dear Old Dad’s Garbage Engine
FIAT: Fix It Again, Tony
FORD: Ford Owners Recommend Dodge
GM: Genital Motors
HONDA: Horribly Overpriced, Needing Dad’s Assistance
HYUNDAI: Hang Your UNDerwear Anywhere Inside
JEEP: Junk Everyone Eventually Piles
KIA: Korean Industrial Accident
MITSUBISHI: Manufactured In Taiwan Sold Under British Influence Shipped Here Incomplete
MOPAR: Move Over People Are Racing
NISSAN: Need I Say Something About Nothing
OLDSMOBILE: Overpriced, Leisurely Driven Sedan Made Of Buick`s Irregular Leftover Equipment
PONTIAC: Plan On Numerous Trips In Another Car
SAAB: Sad Attempt At Beauty
TOYOTA: Too Often Yankees Overprice This Auto
VOLVO: Very Odd Looking Vehicular Object

Ford Acronyms

Ford : Fucker Only Rolls Downhill
Ford : Fancy Oil Recycling Device
Ford : Found On Rubbish Dump
Ford : Fucked Over Road Disaster
Ford : Fucked Over Redone Dodge
Ford : First On Recall Day
Ford : Fucked On Race Day
Ford : Fix Or Repair Daily
Ford : Found On Road Dead
Ford : First On Rust and Deterioration
Ford : Frequently Overhauled, Rarely Driven
Ford : Fast Only Rolling Downhill
Ford : Found On Rubbish Dump
Ford : Fails On Rainy Days
Ford : Fails On Race Day
Ford : Found On Roadside Dead
Ford : Failure Of Research & Development
Ford : Found On Road Deserted
Ford : Fast Only Running Downhill
Ford : Factory Ordered Road Disaster
Ford : Factory Ordered Rebuilt Datsun
Ford : Flip Over Read Directions
Ford : Four Old Rusted Doors
Ford : Ford Owner Really Dumb
Ford : For Only Retarded Drivers
Ford : For Off Road Death
Ford : Fords Only Run Downhill
Ford : Freaking Old Rusted Dodge (Datsun)
Ford : Forget Out Running Datsuns
Ford : For Old Retarded Drivers
Ford : Fucked On Race Day
Ford : Full Of Rusty Dents
Ford : Flies Off Road Deliberately
Ford : Fish Out River Daily
Ford : Fucker Only Runs Downhill

One should start on financial planning early in his career. This means keeping record of mortgage rates, maintaining mutual funds. Not using mutual funds in the online trading prospects is an admirable feat. Managing your visa card sensibly calls for applause indeed.

A few more Automobile acronyms

Ford : First On Race Day
Toyota : Take Off Your Oversized Tires Asshole
Chevrolet : Cheap Hardly Efficient Vehicle Runs On Luck Every Time
Chevrolet : Cracked Heads Every Valve Rattles Oil Leaks Every Time
Dodge : Dad’s Old Dead Garage Experiment
GMC : Gotta Mechanic Coming
Jeep : Just Empty Every Pocket
Dodge : Dead Old Decaying Garage Experiment
Lotus : Lots Of Trouble Usually Serious
IVECO : I Vibrate Everything Comes Off