What not to say a cop

Aren’t you the guy from the Village People?
I can’t reach my license unless you hold my beer.
Sorry, Officer, I didn’t realize my radar detector wasn’t plugged in.
Hey, you must’ve been doin’ about 125 mph to keep up with me! Good job!
I thought you had to be in relatively good physical condition to be a police officer.
You’re not gonna check the trunk, are you?
I pay your salary!
Gee, Officer! That’s terrific. The last officer only gave me a warning, too!
Do you know why you pulled me over? Okay, just so one of us does.
I was trying to keep up with traffic. Yes, I know there is no other car around–that’s how far ahead of me they are.
Well, when I reached down to pick up my bag of crack, my gun fell off my lap and got lodged between the brake pedal and the gas pedal, forcing me to speed out of control.
Say Hi to your wife and my kids!

The business man then handed over the keys to a Maseratti that was parked on the street in front of the bank. Everything checked out and the loan officer accepted the car as collateral for the loan. An employee then drove the Rolls into the bank’s underground garage and parked it there.

Two weeks later the businessman returned, repaid the $5,000 and the interest which came to $15.41.

The loan officer said, “We do appreciate your business and this transaction has worked out very nicely, but we are a bit puzzled. While you were away we checked and found that you are a billionaire. What puzzles us is why you would bother to borrow $5,000?”

The business man replied: “Where else in New York City can I park my car for two weeks for fifteen bucks?”